"This beautiful blonde hair — time to let it go." Erling Haaland sat down in the barber's chair and meant it.
The Manchester City striker has shaved off his signature shoulder-length blonde locks ahead of the new season, documenting the whole thing in a YouTube vlog that's exactly as chaotic and likeable as you'd expect from the man. His stylist even tried to talk him out of it. "You don't have to do this." Haaland's response: "No, I'm ready."
Ready is an understatement. He's been sitting on this decision since the World Cup.
"I was thinking about doing this straight after the World Cup, but I was so busy so I didn't do it," the 26-year-old explained. "Season starts now, so it's time to get a fresh start and everything." So this isn't an impulsive post-holiday shave. It's a considered reset — which, knowing Haaland's obsessive approach to preparation, probably shouldn't surprise anyone.
Zlatan, Pep, and a girlfriend on the verge of tears
The vlog had cameos. Zlatan Ibrahimovic, typically, had opinions: "You gonna be faster now, or what?" After suggesting he must have "lost a bet," which is arguably the most Zlatan response available. Pep Guardiola — famously and involuntarily follicle-free — laughed that Haaland was "lucky to have hair," adding, "I would love to have it."
His girlfriend Isabel Haugseng Johansen, 22, was in the room for the transformation and did not take it quietly. "I think I will cry," she said, before holding the loose hair in her hands and managing only, "Oh my god."
Haaland had actually teased the new look on X beforehand — a 10-second clip, long hair in, buzz cut out — before the full vlog confirmed what many hoped was a filter.
The hair was, genuinely, part of his identity. Long, blonde, impossible to miss in a crowd — it matched the larger-than-life presence. The buzzcut makes him look like a different person. Whether it affects anything on the pitch is another matter entirely, but City fans will need a moment to adjust their mental image of their striker.
At least he still has the Birkin bag collection.
